well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she told me i tasted like america
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
