haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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