Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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