my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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