do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
