she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
