Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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