After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
