i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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