he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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