this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
