i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
