I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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