No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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