So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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