There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
