Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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