on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
