we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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