Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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