Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
