yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
