Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
