Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
