Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
