think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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