my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
