please come you make the beer taste better
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
