My pussy is not your playground.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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