my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
