I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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