i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize