Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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