Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
