My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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