my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
