...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize