therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
foreskin is a definite game changer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize