the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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