I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
