Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
