dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
