So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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