when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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