lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
