sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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