everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
