Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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