No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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