More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
