i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
