I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were destined to go to rehab together
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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