We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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