Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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