I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
