Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I looked at my own cervix.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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