That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
