i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
