the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
