I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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