I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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