"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
