I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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