I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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