Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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