remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize