I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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